Let’s be honest: life is chaotic. The bills, the deadlines, the Great Dane puppy who just spilled your entire seed catalog. It’s enough to ruffle your feathers. What if I told you the secret to calm, clarity, and cosmic alignment was already scratching around in your backyard? 🌿
Welcome to Chicken-Guided Meditation! A sacred and slightly ridiculous practice inspired by the most grounded creatures I know: my chooks!
Step 1: Ground Yourself Like a Hen
Find a sunny patch of yard. Sit. Wiggle a little until your butt finds its perfect nesting spot in the grass. Imagine yourself a warm, round chicken in your prime. Eyes half-lidded. Feet dirty. Proud of your fluffy butt. 🐥
Breathe in.
Scratch the earth.
Breathe out.
Peck at imaginary corn.
Repeat.
Step 2: Observe the Pecking Order (Without Ego)
Notice the hierarchy, but don’t judge it. The Alpha Hen (Periwinkle) isn’t better than the Brahma who sings to the lilacs. She just walks a little taller. Let go of status. Be the chicken who knows when to step back from the watermelon rind and wait her turn. 🐔
Step 3: Cluck with Intention
Every cluck means something:
A sharp brrraaaaawk? Boundaries.
A gentle bok bok bok? Contentment.
A loud CLUCK?! in your direction? Wake up. Be present. Also, check for raccoons and lack of hydration. 🌊
As you meditate, hum softly, your own version of a contented cluck. It’s like om… but poultry-approved!
Step 4: Dust Bathe the Bullsh*t Away!
Visualize your stress as a layer of dust. Now, flop on your side like a happy hen and metaphorically kick that crap up into the sky. Let it settle somewhere far from your nesting box of peace. Bonus if you actually roll in the dirt (5 stars for authenticity!) 🪹
Step 5: Lay Your Golden Egg
What are you birthing today? A new idea? A gentle boundary? A homestead dinner made from scratch? Visualize yourself laying that golden egg of intention. Warm it with your patience. Sit on it with your trust. Let the garden (and life) bring it to hatch when it’s ready. 🥚
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The Coop is Within You
You don’t need incense, fancy cushions, or a Himalayan singing bowl (though no shade if you have one). You’ve got chickens. You’ve got dirt. You’ve got the divine in denim overalls.
So next time the world feels too loud, remember: breathe, peck, cluck, repeat.
The coop is within you.
Now go out there and ruffle some peace!✌🏻☮️
Yard 2 Yield! 