There I was. Bored. Creative. Slightly feral from too many nights of herbal tea and responsible choices. Armed with a mirror, five minutes, and a metallic marker that whispered seductively from the mess on my coffee table,
> “You up?”
Was it designed for eyes?
Absolutely not.
Did it shimmer like the tears of a disco ball?
You bet your glitter-loving soul it did!
One swoop. Then another. I looked like a Y2K oracle.
An edgy raccoon.
A woman with absolutely nothing to prove and a roll of duct tape earrings on standby.
I made a reel. I posted it. I moved on with my life.
But the internet didn’t.
> “You’re going to get a nasty eye infection.”
“That’s not safe!!”
“Please don’t tell people to do this.”
Now, let me be clear:
I never told anyone to do anything.
There was no how-to. No affiliate link. No warning label because I’m not a brand, I’m a vibe.
It was a moment. A sparkle. A dopamine-fueled act of rebellion. And before the wellness police come in with a citation for “non-sanctioned shimmer,” let me remind you…
People eat gas station sushi and chase it with Mountain Dew.
Some folks use Gorilla Glue on their hair!
There’s a guy on TikTok who brushes his teeth with butter.
Humans are weird. That’s the magic of us.
So here’s the deal:
Free will is alive and well. You’re allowed to make weird choices. You’re allowed to be creative without clearing it with a board of dermatologists. You’re allowed to glitter-bomb your face without a three-paragraph disclaimer.
Was it a good idea? I don’t know.
Did I look fabulous? Absolutely.
Do my eyes still work? They do. In HD.
And if that bothers you, I kindly suggest scrolling on to someone safer. Like a DIY candle influencer named Susan. 🤷🏻♀️
Because around here?
✨ Creativity wins.
✨ Perfection is boring.
✨ And sometimes the best eyeliner comes from the office supply drawer!
Yard 2 Yield! 