Author Archives: Steph VonAhnen, LRMT, CLC

Let’s get one thing straight, sugar: just because you’re a little wild doesn’t mean you’re lost!  Sometimes it just means the world hasn’t caught up to your rhythm yet. I see you, the one who can’t sit still in spaces that feel fake.  The one who tries to play nice, but your soul just *won’tContinue reading “Auntie Wisdom for the Wild Ones: For the bold, the burnt out, and the beautifully rebellious.”

What if I told you your best hair day starts with a greasy bun and a blanket?That you could deep-condition like a queen, without standing around in the shower looking like a wilted salad?Welcome to the Lazy Girl’s Hair Mask.  No heat caps, no weird smells, no effort.  Just results. — 🧴 The Sleepytime HairContinue reading “Bootleg Bougie – Vol. 8 The Lazy Girl’s Hair Mask That Works While You Nap”

You know the kind of lip balm that smells like frosting, feels like velvet, and lowkey makes your cheekbones pop?  Yeah… we’re making that… in your kitchen. This is not your waxy gas station stick.  This is bootleg glamour in a tiny jar. — 💄 DIY Snackable Lip & Glow Balm You’ll Need: 1 tbspContinue reading “Bootleg Bougie – Vol. 6 Lip Balm That Tastes Like a Snack and Doubles as Highlighter”

Shampoo is overrated.  Hot water dries your scalp.  And those $24 aerosol dry shampoos?  Basically baby powder in a Prada dress. But guess what?  You can freshen your hair, add volume, and absorb oil with one ingredient that’s probably already chillin’ in your pantry. — 🧼 The Rebel Dry Shampoo Recipe Option A: For LightContinue reading “Bootleg Bougie – Vol. 5 Dry Shampoo for Rebels: How to Quit Washing Your Hair So Much (and Look Hot Doing It)”

Deodorant is one of those things you don’t think much about, until it stops working.  And let’s be honest, the “natural” ones at the store?  They either ghost you mid-summer or cost as much as brunch! Baking soda?  That humble kitchen staple? It’s the real MVP.  And today, we’re rubbing it in… literally! — 🧼Continue reading “Bootleg Bougie – Vol. 4 The Baking Soda Secret That Changed Our Armpits Forever”

You’ve heard of “smooth as butter.”  But have you ever experienced smooth as a dolphin?  Because this scrub will take your crusty knees and sandpaper elbows and transform them into the stuff of mermaid dreams! And the best part?  It’s basically made of trash. That’s right, your leftover morning coffee grounds are about to becomeContinue reading “Bootleg Bougie – Vol. 3The Coffee Scrub That Turned Our Elbows Into Baby Dolphins”

You know what’s better than a $65 face cream with a name you can’t pronounce?  Whipping up your own dreamy, skin-loving butter from pantry staples, like the kitchen goddess you were born to be! Today we’re making whipped body butter so rich, so fluffy, and so ridiculously luxurious, you might catch yourself petting your ownContinue reading “Bootleg Bougie – Vol. 2 Whip It Good: How to Make Luxe Lotion from Kitchen Stuff”

Let’s face it, those little Frownies that promise to iron out your wrinkles overnight are basically overpriced stickers with a superiority complex.  Enter: moleskin.  Not the fancy notebook, darling.  The pharmacy aisle hero.  The stuff meant for blistered heels and hiking feet?  Yeah.  That. ✨ Here’s why it works: Sticks like a loyal friend.  NoContinue reading “Bootleg Bougie – Vol. 1The $2 Facelift: Why Moleskin Beats Frownies Every Time”

We’ve all heard the phrase: “I just need to find balance.”It gets tossed around like a life raft when we’re drowning in schedules, stress, or spirals.  Here’s the twist: balance isn’t a destination, it’s a dance. Real balance isn’t static.  It’s not the picture-perfect moment where all the spinning plates pause mid-air. No, it’s theContinue reading “The Wisdom of the Wobble: Why Balance Isn’t Stillness”